|John Borras||Sep 29, 2011 3:41 am||.doc|
|Subject:||[tgf] RE: Policy lessons from...: "OASIS"|
|From:||John Borras (john...@yahoo.co.uk)|
|Date:||Sep 29, 2011 3:41:26 am|
Thank you very much for the opportunity to revise my paper and in the attached I have attempted to accommodate all the points made by the reviewers plus I have updated the paper to reflect our current work. Please let me know if it needs any further revisions.
I look forward to it being accepted for publication.
Chair OASIS TGF Technical Committee
m. +(0)44 7976 157745
From: Vassilia Orfanou [mailto:Vass...@eurodyn.com] Sent: 26 September 2011 17:47 To: John Borras Cc: Eleni Galyfianaki; epra...@eurodyn.com Subject: [Bulk] Policy lessons from...: "OASIS" Importance: High
following the submission of your paper, we are now in the position to provide the analysis of your paper based on the feedback recently submitted by two of our peer reviewers. Please, amend your paper based on the suggestions below (Things to work on & necessary improvements) and the provided document attached. Kindly submit an updated version of your paper by October 5th.
The paper constitutes the analysis of the Transformational Government Framework and contains dense information with a keen interest and attention to detail. In particular, the article presents an analysis of an extremely recent trend in the sector of eGovernment and provides a detailed explanation of the methodology and key factors of the Transformational Government Framework that is still under preparation by the OASIS Committee. All evidence presented is interesting and new to the readers and the paper is fully capable of retaining their interest.
Content: - The content is well analysed with the author explaining the main ideas in a detailed and clear way to even the non-academic target audiences. - The findings, methodology and conclusions are completely new, based on the work of the OASIS Committee that is still on progress. - The text is mainly analytic, presenting the methodology and key factors necessary for Transformational Government, the latest trend in governmental policy. - There is no need to improve the balance of analysis, detail and overview of this particular paper. However, the details could be limited. - The intended audience of this paper could be EU officers, academic researchers, practitioners, as well as every non-academic citizen interested in eGovernment, transformational government and public sector reform issues. - All parts of the text are clear. - The paper presents the OASIS framework, which is a new approach for designing and developing ICT in the public sector. - The text provides an in-depth analysis of the transformational government phenomenon.
Things to work on: -There is a part (Comment 10 within the text) that does not really make sense. -The graphs are very complicated and hard to follow even though they have been analysed in the text.(e.g. Figure 3, cannot be followed without the text). Some of figures/graphs contain a lot of data and schemes that are difficult to be understood by the reader. -There is a lack of relevant literature, which is necessary in order to justify the information provided.
Structure: -The author makes good use of paragraphing. -Ideas are separated clearly and the text is readable.
Things to work on: -Due to the text's extreme detail and analysis, there is sometimes the need to revisit the general title of the part that it is being read. -Spelling in certain cases should be improved. -The text lacks in structure. The key sentence is missing. There are formatting inconsistencies as far as the titles and subtitles. -Subtitles are missing (Comments 9 and 14). -Not enough attention has been given to the structural formatting of the text. Spaces that are necessary for the structure of the text have been omitted. -Coherence of formatting of titles and subtitles, more subtitles added for large bulks of text to be rendered lighter, better spacing of the text. -The language is simple and expressive but the constant use of the 2nd person plural should be avoided. -The article could have benefited from a clearer structure, as particularly there is no bibliography. -The introduction should be well-defined.
References: -Quotations are worked smoothly in the text.
Things to work on: -The only reference in the text is not cited correctly.There are no references at all at the end of the text. Please, see attached the appropriate format of references and citations. -A few relevant theoretical references are provided and they are not included in a separate section named "References". An example of a citation omission is the following: [.Governments in developed countries are now grappling with the legacy of thousands of fragmented, silo-focused websites (270,000+ in the US public sector, over 9,000 gov.de sites in Germany, and over 3,000 gov.uk sites in the UK).]Here, the source of the data presented is missing.
Relevance: -Transformational Government is presented in the text as the result drawn by decades of implementation of eGovernment by various governments throughout the world. It is thus extremely pertinent for the ePractice Community. It also emphasizes the user centric character that eGovernment should acquire. -The text is extremely current presenting methodology, key factors and conclusions about the latest trend in eGovernment and a Framework that should be used by all Governments, based on citizens and other users. -Decades of eGovernment use by governments throughout the world have led to the drawing of conclusions regarding the implementation of electronic government, its positive and negative aspects. This paper presents valuable information for the ePractice .eu community that comprises members of governments responsible for eGovernment in their countries. -The article will certainly capture the reader's interest as it deals with a new and promising approach of eGovernment, that is transformational government. -The text is high relevant for the ePractice community and the policy lessons issue, since it presents the new set of organisational and cultural changes in the public sector -The text is current and relevant and elaborates on a subject that will soon be important for all countries worldwide. -This paper presents the new model of eGovernment along with suggestions on the factors that need to be addressed in order to meet all expectations. Therefore, it is important to publish the text.
Things to work on: -Limit the use of too much detail and new information that tend to forget the beginning of the text and the logic that lead them there.
Necessary improvements: 1. Add references 2. Add the key sentence 2. Add clear titles and subtitles 3. Possibly make graphs and figures simpler 4. Correct some minor spelling, grammar and punctuation (mostly commas) errors 7. Please, see also direct comments made in the initial text provided and has been attached for your consideration
-- Vassilia Orfanou Communication Officer, EUROPEAN DYNAMICS SA Vass...@eurodyn.com ePractice.eu Journal issues:http://www.epractice.eu/en/journal/upcoming ePractice.eu Workshops: Effective & Efficient eGovernment Services, September 15th http://www.epractice.eu/en/events/2011-effective-efficient-egovernment